Yesterday I took the pleasure of visiting good friends in Belfast, since I’m leaving for Dallas on Thursday and probably won’t be back in Ireland until Christmas. Thus, I now feel it my duty to be an annoying dick and romanticise about the city and the memories it’s given me.

For those that aren’t local, Belfast is in Ireland’s north east and is both the main city of Northern Ireland and the second city of Ireland. I moved there in the autumn of 2007, relishing the idea of living in a place that’s a.) actually on a world map and b.) full of people who can pronounce their Ts, unlike my hometown.

During three years of nesting there I met some of the funniest, most interesting people on earth. Honestly, Belfast natives have provided me with some of the best banter (or craic) I’ve had in my entire life. People there truly are unique. It’s such a shame to me that the place has garnered such an unpleasant reputation in the past, since Belfast folk are among the most poetically-versed and humorous you’ll ever meet. Somehow they retain this quality whilst being exceptionally warm and humble too. Seriously- go to Belfast, walk into a pub and just look around you. You won’t fail to crack a smile at the coziness of the atmosphere.

I think half of this is down to the accent. Belfast’s accent is… strong. Confusingly strong, and strongly confusing. Confusing because, whilst it bears a strong whiff of the comforting Irish lilt that we’re used to hearing in the media, it also contains the bark and grit of a rabid Scottish rottweiler with a chainsaw. Seriously, if you’re not used to it, this accent will reduce you to tears quicker than riding a motorcycle made of onions. It does give girls a strangely attractive quality though, despite the fact that it makes them sound like they have a bigger dick than you. Make sure you have your emotional body armor on if you’re going to try and chat up a Belfast girl. Belfast girls are sharp, loud and unapologetic. If they think you’re a dick, they will make you feel like one. Not that this has ever happened to me, miiiind you…

Belfast is also very openly proud of it’s maritime heritage, and rightly so- it’s home to one of the biggest shipyards in the world. The Titanic was built here amongst other famous vessels; and although it’s pretty funny to question the quality of their creations as a result, one can’t question the place’s legacy and importance. Belfast’s lineage is deeply interwoven with the ocean, clear evidence of this being two huge shipbuilder’s gantry cranes that tower over the city. Although these cranes are now disused, their importance as a landmark and a symbol of Belfast’s past industrial glories have ensured their preservation.

I secretly have a nerdy-ass interest in local history, and I love reading up on stuff like this- I take an odd interest in finding out why certain things are where they are, and why they were built. Belfast’s buildings and architecture cover a vast and wonderful spectrum and if you’re even remotely interested in checking out whacky old buildings, Belfast is a great city to visit. Don’t tell anyone about your interest though, cause you might be called a sad arse. And ESPECIALLY don’t put it on a blog for everyone to read.

If you’re in Belfast just looking for good fun though, then it’s very easy to find. I’ve had a countless number of fantastic nights out in the city, swigging beer and laughing my arse off with friends. It’s very traditionally irish in this sense; drunken public lollygagging is a nightly staple in the city centre, and whilst it can get a little rowdy, it’s never intimidating. Belfast made me very comfortable from the first time I stepped foot in it; there’s a warmth and an enthusiasm for life in people’s character that just doesn’t seem to exist anywhere else, and it’s incredibly addictive. Living in Belfast really felt like a step up to me. I felt like I’d gone up in the world.

I realise this all sounds a bit like a tourist board advertisement, but for one reason; I am genuinely proud of this city, and proud to call it my own. From day one living in a pokey bedroom at 13 Eblana Street, to working on Waiting For The Bus in a cozy little house on Donnybrook Street, to partying in an apartment opposite Custom House, Belfast has treated me well. Every time I have staggered outside of Auntie Annies, seen double in Laverys or had to shout to hear myself in the John Hewitt, Belfast has gotten me home safe. I just wanted to say thanks, Belfast. I love ya and I’ll miss ya. I’ll see you at Christmas. Until then, I’ll be spreading the good word about you around the world.

Now that that’s done, let’s have a look at some more questions you kids have been sending me:

Anonymous asked: 

HAI DAAV. Do you play an instrument? The hairy banjo does count.

I do indeed! I’ve been playing guitar for 10 years now, and I don’t think I’m shit at it, although I could certainly be better. I enjoy sitting down and writing music or jamming, so I always need a guitar handy. I’m also remotely aware of how to play other stuff like drums, but guitar is the main one for me. I can play the tin whistle too, just to add that even more stereotypical edge to my nationality. I also specialise in the hairy banjo, yes.

Anonymous asked: 

Question: You’re not able to track down via an IP address or something, say, hypothetically, some girl who may have just attempted to ask if you’re single via an anonymous comment on your blog, right?

Nope.

Anonymous asked: 

what does it take for a funny comedic yet evil guy like me to join in the making of cyanide and happiness daily web comic?

You can always wait until the next guest comic week, whenever that may be. Generally it’s just us four (sometimes five with Chase) guys who make the comic, and we aren’t looking to add anyone else. There’s a fan art thread in the forum though, so if you’re looking for some critique you could always go there.

Anonymous asked:

Where is the ragdoll feature you said we would get, or the “frequent” updates? I’m getting impatient.

We’re still working on the ragdoll stuff, although admittedly it’s taken a lot longer than we thought it would to it done. Sorry about that. It will be implemented soon though, so hang in there!

Anonymous asked:

Why is your logo a man in a green hat with a shamrock? Surely a Derry (county) man like yourself would be sick of the american stereotypical view of Ireland. Next he’ll be ginger with a ginger beard drinking guinness. Although all the best in the west, sir.

Awk, I dunno. Initially, I thought it gave me a wee bit of a distinction from the other C&H guys since I was the only fella in the team not from the USA, but this was back way before I had even been over there. My view’s changed a bit since hearing “hello dere laddie, where’s me lucky chaarrms??” for the 93832th time whilst being in the US, but I guess it’s stuck now. I’m quite happy to perpetuate the stereotype. I love where I come from, and for some reason it allows me to get away with murder in the US. If I’m drunk in Ireland, I’m a bum. If I’m drunk in the US, I’m Irish. It’s handy. Thanks for the wishes, too.

Anonymous asked: 

For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from your actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as “brutally honest and relentlessly fair.” Meanwhile, Columbia Tri-Star has produced a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it. Which film would you be most interested in seeing?

Oh Christ, the big blockbuster easily. I don’t think I could watch footage of people I know talking about how much of a dickhead I am for 90 minutes. Yeah, definitely the blockbuster. I think Will Smith should play me. Will Smith plays an irishman who sits at his computer for most of the time. Instant hit.

Anonymous asked: 

Where do you get your ideas for you comics? Do you sit around and actually think about the joke, or do you let the joke come to you naturally from, maybe a real life situation, and you remember it for another comic?

All of these things, depending. Sometimes I need to sit down with a concept or subject and work it out, or sometimes it just hits me. Sometimes something I see will strike a chord in me and an idea will just materialise, or sometimes I like to sit down and have a good rummage around in my head and see what happens. Sometimes I treat comics like mind-putty; just take a theme or a subject and juggle/mould it until you’re satisfied. Main trick is to keep your brain occupied with fresh new stimulus I guess. Also, pot doesn’t help.

Anonymous asked: 

How often do you wear that pimpin’ hat?

Quite a lot now, actually. There seems to be a direct correlation between the amount of trilby time my head has and the growth of my ego. I’d say that at this stage, I’m a pretty egotistical piece of shit. Therefore I wear a trilby a lot.

Anonymous asked: 

Do you have a dog? If so, what type of dog is it?

I have two yorkshire terriers called Tara and Titch. They’re fucking awesome.

Anonymous asked: 

Hello Dave! My question is if there is anything that is too taboo that you won’t make fun of?

I don’t like to make racial jokes, or jokes pertaining to a cultural stereotype. I don’t think they’re incredibly clever, and if they’re the pinnacle of a person’s sense of humour then I don’t regard them as particularly intelligent. I can maybe laugh at stuff like that in a “I know better so it’s okay” kinda ironic way, but I definitely don’t want to put that sort of stuff into C&H. C&H doesn’t single out one group or ridicule them from the perspective of another group. C&H makes fun of everyone. If anything, I think C&H makes fun of racists. I think that’s a good thing. There’s no room in C&H for genuine hatred towards anyone.

Alright, I’m gonna wrap it up for now. I’ll take another leaf through the questions later and answer some more in my next post. Take care. Also, for fuck’s sake, at least put your name after your question if you’re going to post anonymously. I’ve had more contact from anonymous people than a northern irish police station. Step on it, you guys!

-Dave